After Exams

I wasn't sure if I'm doing the right thing. I guess it's only for me to find out the answer. I'm struggling with my studies in MI. Hence I was told perhaps going to a polytechnic next year might be better. So I made up my mind recently and decided to go poly. Even though I'm going poly, I was told to stay in MI for the time being til I secure a place elsewhere. If not I'll have to go National Service.
During this Examination period, I saw how hard my friends work to get promoted. I saw my friends' eyebags. I heard them complaining how tired they are studying late through the night. Me? I was sleeping soundly at 11pm sharp. I went to Sharifa's house one night to study. I saw how she study and got a shock. I've never studied like this in my entire life. I've never seat on a chair more than an hour just to read my notes and revise whatever shit on the table. I felt so ashame of myself. Now I look back and thought,"What the fuck have I done for the entire year?" I made the choice to go MI and I slacked through out the entire year.
While some of them might be feeling relieve that the examination is over. Others started to get worried for their grades. I felt guilty of landing myself in such situation. Such dilemma.
For now, I've decided to start planning for my future. Once I get into a polytechnic, I'll get things straighten out. I won't wanna let myself or anyone else down again. It's my life. Screw it once or twice- it's really up to me.